HOWARD STERN IS GONNA JUDGE ON AGT!!!!

(Image Credit: Stan Honda/Getty Images)

Best Birthday Gift EVER!

I don't care about America's Got Talent, but I do want the stigma attached to Howard to wash away so I can stop explaining to people who've never listened to him that he's not a perv or anti-woman.

Howard is friends with the LGBT community, pro-choice, and Robin Quivers is a vegan. Yes, he talks about masturbating. So if you're from 1950, you'll probably be offended by his radio show.

Now, what he does/says on Sirus will not be what he does/says on AGT. I mean, do we remember The Osborne MTV show? Sharon Osbourne cursed to high heaven on that show and everyone is cool w/ her hosting AGT and The Talk- and yet some people believe Howard won't be able to control his cursing.

He doesn't have FUCKING tourette's. He's a grown up. You know how, as a grown up, sometimes we curse and sometimes we don't? It's fucking complicated, I know...

PS to people who say 'What does Howard know about talent?!', I have two points: What do Piers Morgan or Sharon O know about talent? (Howie Mandel is a comedian, so I'll assume we all agree he has more 'obvious' talent-judging abilities.) Second point: Half of The Howard Stern Show's cast of characters were just wacky people whom Howard plucked from obscurity because he could tell they were ENTERTAINING.

So in conclusion... yay, Howard!!! Can't wait for the secret to get out that you're not a double-douche bag.

Mazel Tov.

Yes, I broke out my Italian for you, Howard! ;-P

The Freezer, Your Jeans, and My Pantyhose

The freezer is a useful tool for the fashionable. (Ha. I said tool.)

For example, did you know that freezing and then slowly defrosting your pantyhose will make it less likely to run? You can also use your freezer to refresh and de-germ your jeans without having to get them wet.  Here's how to do it:

Bad Advice

My aluminum foil carries a warning message: AVOID THE CUTTING EDGE.

Obviously, this foil doesn't understand the benefits of being a trailblazer. All it knows is leftovers.

You will never find success if you're afraid of trying something fresh. So now we know that aluminum foil gives crappy advice. Let this be a lesson to us all.