The Pays that Phrase (Absurdist Spoonerism List of Made Up Colloquialisms)




I watched S1E2 of Kitchen Nightmares last night. In this episode the main thorn in Gordon Ramsey's side is a general manager named Martin. Martin and Gordon are both British, so SGR (Sexy Gordon Ramsey) took the opportunity to use some killer English phrases that he never gets to use on American restauranteurs.

The phoreign frase foreign phrase he used that really stuck with me was let's put the cat amongst the pigeons, which is more eloquent than our American slang for that same call to action, let's stir the shit.

Here are some phrases I've made up that I'm hoping you will throw into your own speech:

Pizza! If you find yourself in really awkward situation, just yell pizza real loud and then walk out. Problem solved. You're welcome.

Croutons aka crouton, croutonic, crou-crou This is my PC term for r3t@rd. For example, "I just locked my bike to the fence without realizing I had the chain wrapped around my ankle, so when I tried to walk away, I tripped. I am a crouton."

That's my snake and potatoes! My standard level of cuteness that I apply before going to work. My snake and potatoes include mascara, a skirt, a cardigan, my mirrored Guess watch, and flats. At least one of those items will be teal and/or animal print.

Any phrases you've made up? Any awesome sayings that Americans need to know about? Leave them in the comments!

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