Dear Diary, Feel the burn!

I never had heartburn until I was 25. Then one day I felt this hot nastiness in the center of my chest, and I knew what it was. Before TV, I bet it was really scary to all of the sudden feel this fire burning around your sternum. I can picture it now...

(Heart Burn would be a good Halloween costume.) 
It's 1903, I'm a strapping young chap, and I just ate some Polish sausage on the boardwalk. La-de-da, what a jolly good stroll I'm hav- what the fligament?! Suddenly, a demon fire burns in my chest! Ah! Help me, please! My emotionally distant turn of the century parents never warned me about this! Someone get me a sarsaparilla- 

Ahem... What I mean to say, Diary, is that thanks to prescription drug commercials, I knew I wasn't breathing a demon fire and that a little Prevacid, Zantac, Tums, or Mylanta would make everything all better.

I love you television.

2 comments:

  1. LOL, the flipside of this would be the dangers of prescription drug commercials if you're hypochondriac like me. I'm constantlay having to ask myself if I'm depressed or if my periods are irregular :-P But I am however glad medical science has reached the point in which people don't have to be bled by leeches :-/ I would have not made it out of that century okay...

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  2. Man-Friend, in regards to your periods, 'irregular' Is putting it mildly! ;-)

    Re: leeches- I know! I couldn't even handle someone putting slugs on me, let alone BLOODSUCKING slugs!!!!!

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