Salad Porn

 Lucy Dog, you better go to your bed. Salad and I need to... talk.

 Oh, hey Salad. You look nice tonight. Did I tell you that already? Well, it's true.

 So fresh and crunchy. You naughty bitch.

 I see you brought out your red cabbage tonight. Rrrrrear, kinky...

 Would you mind if I just took one little taste?

 Wait, before I do that, it helps if I have something to watch-

 What? Oh. I see. You don't want me to watch anything? You want me to focus on you?

 Hmmm... this is awkward now. Because I'm supposed to be in control here, Salad. You can't tell me what to do.

 Damn it, I can't stay mad at you.

 Let me crack some fresh black pepper all over you to make it up for you. Maybe even give you a little toss, if you ask nicely....

I love you, Salad. Let's do this.

Dear Diary, I am bananas

Is it weird that I keep thinking about the fact that I have 6 bananas? I just happened to notice this morning, and now I keep looking over at them and thinking 'there's 6 of you'. I am also thinking about eating a second banana the next time I eat one. Having an even number of bananas is very nice.

Theoretically, since I know I have 6 and will eat 2 bananas for breakfast tomorrow, and I will eat 2 bananas 1.5 hours before my evening jog, and then will eat two again for breakfast on Wednesday, I will be out of bananas before my Wednesday evening jog. I better go shopping before 6pm on Wednesday.

I must admit that eating 4 bananas a day sounds like too much of a good thing. Perhaps I should find someone to help me eat the second and fourth banana?

Or maybe I'll suck it up this time round, and just make sure I buy my bananas in odd numbers in the future.

Two good solutions! I feel better.

Good night, diary. XO